I know that a lot of people can be embarrassed because they have sexual problems. Here is a place that you can talk about problems and maybe someone who has had similar problems can give some advice.


I will go first.

As I have mentioned in a few different threads, I have problems receiving oral sex. I don't mind it too much in my cunt but on my clit I just can't handle it. The funny thing is, I can use my vibrator on my clit and I love it. I just don't understand it and I know Carlos is a bit frustrated with this because he LOVES to give it.


Cat

Is it because it tickles when he does it there...or does it just make you feel uncomfortable in general? For me...I get ticklish in certain places...and it's hard for me to carry on with certain things. But, other times it's all mental. Sometimes when I think about something that makes me uncomfortable, then I have to stop. For instance, if I think about something that happened with a relationship in the past, that I didn't like...it totally affects me in the present, while we are in the middle of doing something.



It is definitely a physical thing-the feeling is just too much for me. There are times, however, when he does it "right" and it does feel good but most of the time, I just can't handle it.


Cat

maybe have him experiment using his tongue in different ways, until you find a way that feels good. I know sometimes when my husband is doing it...it's too much pressure or something...and then he'll try another way, and it feels a lot better.



We can try. There have been occasions where he has made me cum on my clit with his tongue so I know he can do it-but those are rare incidences.



Cat

Maybe Carlos is getting underneath your clittoral hood and directly stimulating your clit whereas the vibrator is on top of the hood?

I know I have to start out "easy" when I go down on the wife. She is sensitive also. Once she's really in the mood, I can progress to licking, kissing and sucking on her clit.

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One problem is leg cramps. I've had these even when I was in excellent shape and limber.

The other is going limp when I'm on top doing it missionary style. Straight missionary is out of the question - I start exerting myself, and it's like my body says "Hey, we need all available blood to the arms, pronto!" It's why I mentioned having her legs on my chest - she can take some of the weight off of my arms so that doesn't happen.

Maybe I need to look at getting one of those wedges... and hitting the gym again.

Ant



It think you are right about where Carlos' tongue ends up.


As for your leg cramps, have you seen a doctor about that? There may be something that a doc can do to ease them.



Cat

Well, I have a few problems, which are of a different nature:

Last time hubby deployed, here I was, all alone (of course, The Son was here too) but I had to please myself. For the entire year, I took control of my body and did what needed to be done. Most times it was quick sexual gratification but other times I would make love to myself, and I mean for hours!

When hubby came back - I had no sex drive. I should say, I didn't have interest in receiving sex from him. I was so completely used to taking care of myself that any interaction with him left me wanting. (Because I came to know exactly what I wanted, where and when and could control my orgasm down to 18 seconds!)

So off to a psychologist I went, because no matter what I wanted to have sex with my husband! Took a while but finally I was able to regain my sex drive and all has been well.

Thing is, he is deployed again and I am left to my own devices. This time however, I have taken to only quick gratification and I am trying to go without the use of my toys and such. I want to make sure there are no problems when he returns!

(ps. when he was on leave I could tell I had been doing the right thing because I wanted him so much and everywhere we went!!!)